Burning Money: Canada's New Money Melting in Heat

Canada's new monetary bills are melting, and it has nothing to do with the horrifying global economy!

Canadian mints switched to allegedly "indestructible" polymer $50 and $100 bills a few months ago, but as it turns out, the new bills begin curdling in the heat, like bacon in a frying pan, witnesses are saying. The bills were supposed to have been tested from -40 degrees to 280 degrees Fahrenheit, but Canadian citizens are saying that the bills begin to melt away if they are simply left inside of a car on a warm day!

A man in Halifax reported that his bills melted into "the shape of a Coke bottle" after he left his wallet on a still-hot toaster oven.  "So you can't rip them, you can’t tear them, you can’t wreck them by washing them but apparently you can heat them and melt them," commented one particular droll Canadian banking industry insider.

The Bank of Canada has defended the new issue bills, stating that while no bill is completely indestructible, the new bills are the "most durable ever produced" by the Canadian government. People holding damaged bills will be able to receive replacement notes—after they are examined by a laboratory in the capital of Ottawa.

Walking the Tight Rope: Daredevil Successfully Walks Niagara Falls High Wire

 

Daredevil Nik Wallenda (of the famed Flying Wallenda family) became the first person ever to successfully walk across a tight rope suspended above the mighty Niagara Falls yesterday.

Taking careful, steady steps, Wallenda made his way across the 1800 feet of the Falls, battling wind as well as a continuous mist from the waterfall. The entire stunt was broadcast on ABC, who insisted Wallenda use a safety tether for the extremely risky daredevil act as insurance for the spectacle, which cost the network $1.3 million to put on.

Of course, being a daredevil is in the blood of the 33-year-old father of three, who is a 7th generation member of the circus act Flying Wallenda's. The family can trace their flashy, show biz roots back to 1780 Austria-Hungary, where family members entertained royalty and peasants alike with acrobatic feats, juggling, animal training and trapeze performances.

After successfully completing the walk, Wallenda said he was able to accomplish the feat with "a lot of praying, that's for sure. But, you know, it's all about the concentration, the focus, and the training."

A large, lively crowd had gathered to watch the event, with over 125,000 people gathering on the Canadian side of the falls and an additional 5000 on the American side. Around a dozen people have crossed high wires downstream at the Niagara Gorge, but this is the first time anyone has crossed directly over the Falls.

Moose Tracks: Adults Trick Kids into Eating Moose Dung

School staff members chaperoning a trip to the Canadian Wild are in trouble for playing a particularly foul prank on two children left in their care during a canoe excursion.

The parents of the two children were furious to learn that school leaders tricked their children into eating moose dung while on a canoe excursion in Manitoba, Canada. The disgusting gag was pulled in late May, when a chaperone offered the children what he called "chocolate covered almonds", which turned out to be moose droppings.

The other members of the group, in on the gag, laughed hysterically after the children put the droppings into their mouths. Now, the school members are being accused of hazing and bullying, two very serious charges. The dung became entangled in the braces of one of the young victims, the mother of the child claims. One mother has removed her child from the school system over the incident.

Even though it was a parent chaperone who played the tasteless joke, the school staff members are still responsible, said Lord Selkirk School Division superintendent Scott Kwasnitza. ""There's certainly an expectation that they will protect our children and this, this didn't need to go as far as it did. And the staff should have intervened in a timely fashion," Kwasnitza stated.

Three school staff members have been disciplined over the incident, but school administration has not revealed the nature of the disciplinary action.

Day of the Dead: Canada Prepares Citizens for Zombie Apocalypse

British Columbia is helping citizens of the Canadian province prepare for the upcoming Zombie Apocalypse with a clever new instructional video regarding Zombie Preparedness Week 2012.

Actually, the video is a message that everyone needs to be prepared for any type of emergency, from killer storms, flash floods or earthquakes and tsunamis. In the computer animated video, a bloody-face, flesh-eating Zombie is threatening to eat the brains of a little girl (after he already gobbled down the brains of the girl's unprepared neighbors.)

The brave little girl is not worried about the cannibalistic zombie, however, as her family has prepared for any contingency. She calmly informs the brain-eater that to prepare for a disaster you should:

Know the Risks.
Create a plan.
Prepare an emergency kit.

The video out of British Columbia follows an equally eerie warning from the Center for Disease Control in the United States last year, which warned American citizens to prepare for a Zombie Apocalypse  as well.

Ghost Ship: Trawler Swept Away by Japanese Tsunami Found Off Canadian Coast

A Japanese fishing boat lost in last year's horrifying tsunami has been found, over four thousand miles away off the west coast of Canada!

The trawler is part of the estimated five million tons of debris swept up by the mammoth, twenty-four foot tsunami that devastated countless cities and villages along the Japanese coast following a powerful 9.0 earthquake in March 2011. Now, more than a year after the cataclysm, Canadian military air patrol have spotted the ghost vessel, unmanned since the disaster, near the Queen Charlotte Islands, off the coast of British Colombia. The ship, which was used for squid fishing, was moored near the city of Hachinohe in the Aomori prefecture when the tsunami hit, said Toshiro Yoshinaga, an official with the Japanese Coast Guard. Canadian agencies are monitoring the ship for marine pollution.

A massive "floating island" of debris from Japan is steadily making its way across the Pacific Ocean, and is hovering close to the western coasts of both the United States and Canada. Experts believe the toxic debris could start washing ashore within the next year.

Degrassi Actor's Remains Identified After 4 Years

Degrassi Junior High actor Neil Hope (in glasses)

An actor who once starred on popular Canadian school melodrama Degrassi Junior High has finally been announced dead, four years after his unclaimed body was buried.

The Degrassi Junior High actor Neil Hope, who played Derek "Wheels" Wheeler on the popular 1980s TV series, died in near-anonymity over four years ago, his family has confirmed after lengthy attempts to track down his whereabouts.

The reclusive actor had little contact with family and friends during his final years and died alone in an Ontario, Canada, rooming house in 2007, claims his ex-fiance Christina Boulard. Boulard says that the star of the groundbreaking television series died from natural causes at the age of 35 but declined to elaborate, only saying Hope suffered from diabetes.

Hope was one of Degrassi's earliest stars, appearing as Griff on the first installment, The Kids of Degrassi Street, in 1979.On the later Degrassi Junior High he portrayed the troubled character Derek Wheeler, known as  "Wheels", who struggled with alcoholism and drug abuse. The actor was candid about his own difficult childhood growing up with parents who were alcoholics.

Hope would make guest appearances on Degrassi: The Next Generation in 2001 and 2003, but parts became scarce for the struggling actor. Boulard is planning a private memorial in June for Hope's old Degrassi colleagues and close friends in order to pay tribute to their fallen fellow actor and friend.