Make It Viral: Ugly Things at Garden Ridge

While visiting the local Garden Ridge craft mega-store today, I noticed two things: One, there sure is a lot of crappy stuff crammed onto the shelves and two, they keep the aisles pretty dark so you can't get a good look at just how crappy the stuff is! Here's a veritable treat of extremely kitschy objet d'art found at Garden Ridge! Enjoy!

The Hot Lips chair looks super comfortable and inviting...

 

There's something about an over-sized, Zebra-stripped stiletto heel chair that reminds me of big, warm hugs...

I think a five-year-old vomited on Aisle Eight after eating a bag of Skittles, some Pixie Sticks, and some garden-variety bugs for good measure...

This hanging mass of mildewed sea kelp wouldn't look any more appealing if the photograph was in focus... Now picture it on your wall!!!

A basketball made out the stone-washed jeans your Mom wore to see "Breakin' 2: Electric Boogaloo". Go, Wildcats!!!

Good to know Garden Ridge sells safety pins that are the perfect size if you have to diaper a Cyclops...

So, it is better luck to rub the Jade Buddha on it's tummy, or on its dangling man boobs?

The never-before-caught-on-film mating ritual of the wild Serengeti speckled lamp shades...

'Nuff said!!!

Here are two of Jackson Pollock's lesser-known works. The first painting is titled "How Drunk Am I?" The second is called "Does Drinking Rubbing Alcohol Make One Hallucinate?"

 

No wonder Mama Celeste broke things off with the Swedish Chef...

Dirty Dancing Disinfectant: Moms Spray Kids with Lysol at Prom

Two angry and self-righteous moms chaperoning a prom in Manitou Springs, Colorado, wanted to take the dirty out of dirty dancing by spraying a group of hormone-driven teens with Lysol disinfectant spray.

Seems the melodramatic moms took offense to how a group of teens were getting their groove on at the dance. Two of the chaperoning mothers, Jennifer Farmer and Hannah Rockey, are accused of dousing a group of about eight students with the disinfectant spray, some of it getting into the students' eyes and mouths. They also stand accused of calling the female students "sluts" and "whores" while going on the wild spraying spree.

Both of the women have been cited for harassment and obscene language, police said. One of the students is pressing charges against the two women. According to local police, both of the women complained to a security guard at the dance that the students were "dancing “like they are having sex with their clothes on” and appeared as if “they were advertising for sex”. The women are denying all allegations.

In non-related news, the students gathered to watch the classic 80s movies Footloose and Dirty Dancing after the prom.

(Auto) Correct Behavior: When Mobile Phone Predictive Text Errors Attack

Photos Courtesy of The Daily Mail

As the wonders of technology advance seemingly every single day, we can sometimes be left exasperated by how new devices can out-think humans!

Case in point: The technology behind predictive text for mobile phone users has become so advanced it is resulting in some embarrassing miscommunications, leaving users more than a little red-faced and sometimes even breaking up relationships unintentionally!


Check out the above text where "Jenni" is trying to ask her significant other to spend more time "At Pat's" (a good friend or maybe a neighborhood tavern?). However, her mobile phone's predictive text app decided that she was trying to ask for some "time apart", which prompts a furious reply from her significant other! (Any bets on this couple remaining together?)

In another hilarious example, one user is trying to explain why she will be avoiding her friend with a sick son, because she is a hermaphrodite germophobe! She goes on to explain that she isn't really a hermaphrodite, just a girl with predictive text auto-correct!

Another user was horrified when the predictive text changed her question to a friend "Do you need any bleach at the store" to "Do you need anal bleach?" while another user's request for some Honey Bunches of Oats cereal became "Hindu Bunches of Oats".

You can view more definitely not suitable for work hilarious and embarrassing auto-correct blunders at the website Damn You Auto Correct!!!

Hey, Asphalt! News Reporter Has Embarrassing Slip of the Tongue

It's probably the more novice reporter who draws the short straw that always gets sent out to do the mundane report of the first snowfall  of the season during the local news telecast.

Let's face it, the more seasoned reporter is not about to put on their goulashes and trudge out to the off-ramp to the interstate outside of Dogpatch to tell everyone that there is a light dusting of snow, a fact they could figure out themselves by simply opening up the door and sticking their necks outside.

So we really feel for this intrepid reporter, who is doing everything right and completely by the books during his run-of-the-mill report about the mild nuisance of a snow shower, until the end, where he confuses the word asphalt with another "A" word...

It's the Great Un-Friend You on Facebook Day, Charlie Brown!

The hilarious guys over at Jimmy Kimmel thought that there should be an official "National Unfriend Day" on Facebook. You know, a day where you go through your list of friends on Facebook and start culling out the dead weight! It's a great idea! There's one credo in life that still holds true today:  It isn't officially a holiday of any merit unless there is a Peanuts cartoon about it!

To remedy this situation, the show put together this flippin' hilarious Peanuts cartoon about the special Unfriend day just to get the ball rolling. I mean, good grief, who wouldn't take that depressing sad sack Charlie Brown off their friend's list? And that Momma's Boy Linus? Hasn't he married that blanket by now and fathered a couple of kids? And we've all seen those highly inappropriate and suggestive photos some Facebook "friends" are inclined to post on their page... just like Charlie Brown's sister, Sally!

You'll have to watch all the hilarity in the video below: