Meow Mix: Cat Lady Gets Eaten by Feline Horde

A woman in England who lived as a recluse in a house with a large brood of cats and dogs was apparently eaten by her pets after she died!

By the time local authorities discovered the body of 56-year-old Janet Veal, she'd been dead for as long as three months. Her house made for a gruesome scene, littered with the rotting carcasses of numerous pet cats and dogs that had been confined in the house after her death and had died of apparent starvation.

The coroner's report believes that Veal died of natural causes, possibly from chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, but discovered evidence that her body had been eaten upon by the cats and dogs that had been in her care, in a desperate attempt to stave off a horrible death by starvation. Only a few of the cats had survived by eating the remains of their owner.

Investigators report that the house was in a complete state of disarray, suggesting that Veal was a hoarder. Many hoarders of personal effects also become pet hoarders, not knowing when to stop adding more animals to their menageries, even when they are rendered unable, physically or financially, to care for them.

Nanu Nanu! English Politician Claims He Fathered Alien Hybrid Child!

We have heard of some interesting sex scandals involving British politicians over the years, but this story is definitely out of this world! 

Simon Parkes, an elected council member for the town of Whitby on the Yorkshire Coast, England, claims that he is the father of an alien/human hybrid daughter named Zarka! Apparently, Parkes knocked some intergalactic boots with Zarka's extraterrestrial mother, whom he refers to as The Cat Queen (Crazy Cat Lady, more likely).  Parkes also claims that his real mother is a "nine foot tall green alien with eight fingers" (is that total fingers or fingers on one hand?), according to an interview he gave for an upcoming documentary Confessions of an Alien Abductee for England's Channel Four Network (in an obvious effort to get one over on the BBC when it comes to quality, highbrow entertainment). 

The 53-year-old says that he has been receiving random booty calls from his alien friend with benefits about four times a year for a number of years now. Apparently, Parke's human wife (how did he ever land one of those?) isn't too happy about the extra-terrestrial/extra-marital hanky panky, but she has accepted it because the sex is "not on a human level" (We bet!)...

He describes the sexual encounters in a fairly clinical manner: "What will happen is that we will hold hands and I will say 'I’m ready' and then the technology I don’t understand will take us up to a craft orbiting the earth," he told  local online news site The Northern Echo. No word on whether Zarka is expecting any hybrid siblings anytime soon.

You can listen to Parkes give details of his alien love life in the following video (be warned, it's pretty snoozerific, so no sexy, alien porn here!):