Fuh-Get 'Bout It: Jersey Shore Could Be Underwater in 20 Years

"Are there tanning beds underwater? I'll be just like Ariel from The Little Mermaid!" Snooki

The Guidos and Guidettes of MTV's "reality" series staple The Jersey Shore may have to find a new location to be annoying and inconsequential according to a new climate change study conducted by prestigious Princeton University.

The study reveals that runaway climate change is rapidly altering the stability of our planet, creating continuous outbreaks of catastrophic storms such as hurricanes and cyclones as the risk of devastating floods is also on the rise. The study suggests by as early as 2030, the risk of "once in a century" type storms and flooding will increase by at least twenty percent. Large parts of the New Jersey shore line will be in serious jeopardy of being inundated by massive storm surges from increasingly more common and powerful "mega-storms".

The rising sea levels could decimate many low-lying areas up and down the entire Eastern Seaboard of the US, displacing millions of residents, closing businesses, shutting down essential industry and costing the economy hundreds of billions of dollars, if not more. Entire cities and towns would have to relocate to higher ground, and important infrastructure would have to be rebuilt.

The study concludes that by the end of the century, sea levels will be on the average four to five feet higher than current levels. So, Jersey Shore crew, you may want to be on the hunt for a location with a higher elevation to spend your "Golden Years". May I suggest the Himalayas?

What Not to Wear: The Situation Sues Abercrombie & Fitch for Asking Him Not to Wear Their Clothes

Reality "star" Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino has filed a mega-bucks law suit against gay porn clothing producer Abercrombie & Fitch.

A few months back, the high-end, trendy retail outlet said (with tongue planted firmly in hollowed-out cheek a la Zoolander) that they would pay The Sitch a million dollars if he would not wear their clothes on his MTV reality caper The Jersey Shore or while attending red carpet events. Apparently, the Situation thought that they were serious about the deal and is now suing them for $4 million for not handing over a big, over-sized check covered in glitter and pink bows.

In a law suit filed in a Florida federal court, the Italian Stallion claims A&F "embarked on a grand, worldwide advertising campaign using Sorrentino's name, image and likeness to create brand awareness for its products by falsely claiming that Defendant had offered money to Sorrentino if he would stop wearing Defendant's goods". 

Sorrentino, 30, was often seen wearing the retailer's outfits while trying to score some nookie from Snooki on Jersey Shore, and was wearing A&F track pants on the much-ballyhooed season premiere of the show which was filmed in Florence, Italy, over the summer. Sorrentino and his production company MTS also complained in the suit about A&F's use of his catch phrase "Gym. Tanning. Laundry" (GTL) as well as the phrase "The Fitchuation" used on some of their clothing. He has been A&F free in photographs since August, so put your money where your mouth is and pay the man! 

"I'm too sexy for these pants..."