Pooper Scooper: Spanish Town Mails Dog Poop Left in Park Back to Owners

The town of Brunete, Spain, is not taking the matter of dog owners who fail to clean up after their pets while using public parks lightly. Now, the negligent dog owners who decide not to scoop up the poop Fido left behind are having the smelly excrement returned to them...via the mail!

Officials in the town outside of the Spanish capital of Madrid have recruited up to twenty Poop Spies to keep watch over the town's open, public areas. When one of the recruits spots a dog owner leaving their pet's Tootsie Rolls behind, they approach them and strike up a conversation, inquiring about the breed of dog as well as the pet's name. In Spain, it is the law to register your pet, so the spies can quickly access the data base and find out the name and address of the pet owner.

Soon enough, the excrement is parceled back to the owner, tagged as a "Lost and Found" item. (No word if the Spanish Post Office charges extra to set the package on fire, ring the door bell and watch from the bushes as the pet owners try to stamp out the hot, smelly mess.) To make things even more embarrassing, the Pooper Scooper Vendetta Gang often film the return of the poop and post in on social media sites.

Directly as a result of the highly unusual campaign, local officials claim that the amount of excrement incidents in the streets have been reduced by at least 70% since being implemented earlier this year.

As Triumph the Insult Comic Dog would eloquently put it, "That's really wonderful...for me to poop on!!!".

No Rude Behavior: Spanish Town Bans Public Burping, Passing Gas & Slurping

A village in Spain has adopted strict new ordinances designed to make bad and rude behavior illegal!

The town of La Toba, seventy miles north of the Spanish capital Madrid, has ratified the new charter that would make public behavior such as passing gas, belching or slurping your drink or soup in a restaurant against the law.

Other public no-no's include touching your genitals in public, adjusting your underwear, picking your nose and sneezing or yawning without covering your mouth. Children could also find themselves in trouble with the law for not visiting their grandparents. 

La Toba's mayor,  Julian Atienza Garcia, of Spain's United Left Party, drew up the new charter, which has been approved by the local council, in order to combat the disappearance of public civility and common courtesy. "It is a compendium of basic rules of politeness that are being lost and should not be forgotten," Garcia told UK newspaper The Sun. 

Not everyone in the town agrees with the new charter and its restrictive guidelines. Some villagers have called for Garcia's resignation as mayor after the charter was published in the local newspaper. One more vocal critic went online to say that the next step in such a charter was "to insert microchips in everyone's brains to control them." 

However, breaking the rules at present will not be punishable and will strictly be frowned upon, unless someone else decides to change the charter...again...

There Once Was a Boat from Nantucket [That Ended Up in Spain]

A boat that was lost after being hit by a rogue wave off the coast of Nantucket Island, Massachusetts has been found completely intact...some three years later.

The owner of the boat The Queen Bee and a passenger were tossed into the sea by the rogue wave and watched helplessly as the boat disappeared into the deadly surf.  Both men  survived being tossed into the ocean after the ship's inflatable life raft miraculously appeared in the water beside them. Although owner Scott Douglas was grateful to be alive after the ordeal, he was certain that it would be the last time he would ever see his beloved boat.

Fast forward three years later and The Queen Bee has been resurrected after the boat came ashore, some three thousand miles across the Atlantic Ocean from where it was lost, in Llanes, Spain. It's not uncommon for the US Coast Guard to locate derelict ships from Florida off the coast of Virginia, or vessels from Virginia off the coast of Massachusetts, but one has never been discovered fully intact in Europe. Based on international salvage laws, the boat now belongs to Spain.

Douglas misses his boat, but doesn't expect to get it back. He plans on telling the story of The Queen Bee as a children's book.

Am I Blue? Spanish Town Votes to Stay Blue After Smurf Movie Premiere

A lovely town in Spain that was painted a Smurfy shade of blue as a publicity stunt for the live action/cartoon film this year looks as if it will stay the lovely color as residents vote in a special referendum.

The Andalusian village of Juzcar near the resort town of Malaga was painted the precious hue six months ago to promote the European release of the big screen version of classic cartoon The Smurfs starring How I Met Your Mother actor Neil Patrick Harris. Sony Pictures, who made the film, promised to repaint the quaint Spanish village back to its original "pueblo blanco" white color after the European premiere. However, the town quickly became a tourist Mecca, with more than 100,000 tourists flocking to the Smurftasticly cute hamlet to take photographs in the past six months, boosting the local economy.

Now, a special referendum has been ordered where the town's citizens will vote to decide to keep the new color. They will vote on the measure tomorrow. The mayor of Juzcar, David Fernandez, whom locals have dubbed Papa Smurf, says, "We want the residents to decide the future of the town. There are lots of benefits being had from being blue. It has boosted our local economy, our happiness, our dreams, our work and our employment prospects, and we are also known across the whole of the world."


Just don't let that evil wizard Gargamel find out where your town is located...

La La La La La La La La La La La...

Oopsies: Cristiano Ronaldo Accidently Forwards Nude Pics of Fan to Everyone in Address Book

Soccer superstar Cristiano Ronaldo has been caught up in a bit of a scandal after sending partially nude pictures of a Dutch fan to everyone in his address book, including his beautiful fiancée, model Irina Shayk! It seems that the enamored female fan sent the semi-nude photographs as an enticement for the Portuguese footballer to have a relationship with her. The pictures reportedly show the very attractive female fan in a variety of semi-naked poses, in some wearing a provocative tight T-shirt emblazoned with the words 'too hot to handle'.  

Apparently, Ronaldo, who is said to be worth more than $130 million, wasn't interested in a mindless hook-up with some random woman, but instead of deleting the e-mail invitation, he accidentally forwarded the mail with the naughty pics to all of his friends, family, team mates and business associates! The 26-year old athlete, who plays for team Real Madrid in Spain and has a one-year-old son, is set to marry model Irina next July on an island near his native Madeira. 

"Darn right, I'm sexy!"

The Round Up: Top Headlines for October 7, 2011

Food Shortage in North Korea Brings Millions to Brink of Starvation:

Fleet of US Drones Hit by Mysterious Computer Virus

 Spain & Italy See Credit Ratings Downgraded...Again

Prince Harry Arrives in California for Military Training

Steve Jobs Left Plans for Four Years of New Products Before Death

Artist Collective Covers Madrid in What?!?

Europe is pretty much an open-air museum. With so many architectural splendors and statues on every street corner, it's culture overdose. A European art collective known as Luzinterruptus decided it wanted to make art a bit more personal and tangible to the average person. How to accomplish this goal? They decided to place hundreds of silicone breasts filled with small lights to statues, sculptures and any other piece of art that they saw fit throughout Madrid, Spain. Needless to say, this made old pervs everyone want to use their tactile senses to explore the strange new artistic additions. The group was very pleased with the results of their experiment. "With this effective call, we got the people to approach the art that makes up their everyday environment, which they hardly notice, and devote some time to looking at it and touching it with delight," a spokesperson for the group said in a public statement. The lesson here: Yes, boobs make everything greater...

From the Huffington Post:

Artist Group Covers Madrid in...Breasts?

For Love or Money: Spain's Duchess of Alba Marries

María del Rosario Cayetana Victoria Alfonsa Fitz-James Stuart y de Silva, otherwise known as the Duchess of Alba, was married today in a lavish ceremony at her residence in Seville, Spain, the Dueñas Palace. The 85-year-old royal, who is said to be worth over €3.5 billion, married commoner Alfonso Díez, some twenty-five years her junior. The eccentric Duchess, who has lived most of her life in the tabloids and newspapers for her outlandish behavior and possesses the world's longest royal title, had threatened to give away her incredible fortune to keep her children from squabbling over their inheritance. A week before the wedding, a Spanish newspaper published thirty-year old photographs of the Duchess sunbathing topless on a beach. Here's wishing the new couple much happiness...

From The Guardian:
Spain's Billionaire Duchess of Alba Remarries at 85