(Sperm) Bank Foreclosure: FDA Orders Man to Shut Down DNA Factory

"Sperm used to be free. It was all over the place." Blanche Devereaux, The Golden Girls

The Federal Drug Administration has cracked down on a San Francisco man who opened up his own online sperm depository and sold his samples to couples unable to conceive. 37-year-old Trent Arsenault, claims that he has helped at least 14 couples to become pregnant over the past few years.

The youthful-looking tech worker did however fail to mention one tiny detail to all of his prospective clients: He records himself "extracting" his DNA samples and posts the amateur porn videos online for the world to see on sites such as XTube.  He's also very creative in his use of helpful aids to "bring forth his seed", using interesting objects such as a water polo ball and a frozen bag of blueberries to "spank his monkey".

Arsenault claims part of his goal was to "help the 99 percent who can't afford to visit an expensive sperm bank", taking his cue from the Occupy Wall Street zeitgeist. Arsenault is dedicated to his profession, drinking only healthy, sperm-inducing fresh fruit smoothies for breakfast to help boost his little swimmers count.

Puppy Love: Video of Puppies Destroying Presents is Christmas Hit

"On the 11th Day of Christmas, my true love gave to me, eleven Golden Retriever Pups..."

What could be cuter than loads of puppies popping out of beautifully wrapped presents beneath a sparkling Christmas tree? Answer: Not much!

Check out this beyond-cute holiday video featuring the most adorable little puppies that you've ever seen, merrily destroying perfectly wrapped presents in the cutest way possible. If this video doesn't warm your heart or put a big, cheesy grin on your face, you truly are the Grinch of Christmas Past, Ebenezer...

Rosebud: Orson Welles' Oscar Sells for $900,000

The Oscar trophy that was awarded to actor and director Orson Welles was sold at auction today, fetching almost $900,000.

The award was presented to the super-talented Welles for Best Original Screenplay in 1941 for the classic film Citizen Kane, widely regarded by critics as the greatest movie of all time. Welles was only twenty-five-years-old when he achieved amazing success with his very first feature film, which was loosely based on the life and exploits of multi-millionaire publisher William Randolph Hearst. The powerful tycoon refused to mention the film in any of his newspapers around the world and successfully managed to blacklist the actor, which harmed his career for many decades.

The Academy of Motion Pictures has always frowned upon anyone selling their award, and fought to ensure that Welles' Oscar was not sold. However, a judge ruled in 2004 that Welles had never signed the Academy's stringent agreement never to sell the trophy, which allowed for today's sale to take place. The auction house responsible for the sale declined to reveal any more information about who purchased the trophy.

Hot New Artist: Check Out Lana Del Ray's Haunting "Born to Die"

If you haven't had an opportunity to check out super-cool new artist Lana Del Ray's music, there is no time like the present. The über-talented 25-year-old American singer is an amazing cross between Lady GaGa, Jessie J, Adele and Florence Welch!  The hot new video for her single "Born to Die" features the beautiful and sexy Lana living in a Dystopian world and involved in some rather heavy petting with her heavily-tattooed male love interest. You can check out Lana's incredibly sultry voice and thought-provoking lyrics as well as the sensuously-filmed video to "Born to Die" on YouTube below:

I Eat Cannibals: Dutch Game Show Contestants Turn Cannibal for €€€

"I don't have to eat your liver with a nice Chianti, but it does bring out the flavor."

Contestants on a Dutch game show are taking a cue from Silence of the Lamb baddie Hannibal Lecter by turning themselves into cannibals for the love of money!

Two male contestants on the game show Proefkonijnen (Guinea Pig) had surgery to remove muscle and tissue from their buttocks and abdomen so that the samples could be fried up and served to the other contestant. Dennis Storm and Valerio Zeno both ate the disgusting piece of meat in front of a live audience for an opportunity to win big bucks. Neither contestant would say how the others' fleshy hor d'oeuvres  tasted, which they ate without any sort of seasoning or condiment! The nauseating episode of the show will air soon in the Netherlands.


Lawyers for the show insist that there was nothing illegal about the outrageous stunt as cannibalism is not expressly against the law, although the television producers and presenter could run into legal difficulties. The show also insists that there is no danger in consuming human meat, as long as it is properly cooked. We'll make sure to consult our Betty Crocker's Guide to Cannibal Cooking to make sure we're preparing it properly in the future...

Rudolph in a Can? Department Store Under Fire for Selling Canned Reindeer Meat

High-end English department store Harvey Nichols has come under fire from animal rights activists for selling reindeer meat pate in a can. The product, which retails for $30, is described on the label as an "Arctic Delicacy", an "Indulgent Winter Treat" and a "Farm Raised Relative of Rudolph".

Animal rights groups are calling for the product to be removed from store shelves, claiming it exploits the killing and abuse of wild animals. The product, which is also available for purchase on Amazon.com, is produced and sold by a London-based company called Edible. The meat is said to be produced from Swedish Arctic reindeer and is cured in cognac and spices. Edible claims on their website that the meat is "delicious served on hot, buttered toast and with a glass of brandy."  Constance Cooper, a spokesperson from Harvey Nichols, says "Our online stock has sold out due to the publicity and demand we've received. It's a seasonal product and stocks are limited so we will not be restocking prior to Christmas."


Activist group Vegetarians International Voice for Animals today urged Harvey Nichols to ban the product from its shelves. In a letter to the store, they wrote: "I understand that the reindeer meat you sell claims to be from farmed animals, this... raises concerns – as farming methods are likely to cause huge amounts of stress to animals used to relatively free range over wide areas."

The exclusive department store's Knightsbridge location announced it had already sold out of its stock of the canned reindeer meat and the product had also been removed from their online website as of today. 

This Wheel's On Fire: Ab Fab's Patsy & Edina Dis the Kardashians

Yes, they're back! Those chain-smoking, vodka swilling, shopping-obsessed babes of Absolutely Fabulous have returned, just in time to give us their indelible take on the current state of the world!

The legendary divas Patsy Stone and Edina Monsoon haven't missed a beat since the series left the air in 2003, as they tell Edina's poor, put-upon daughter Saffron what they think about those lovely social leeches that are known as The Kardashians in an exclusive teaser clip of the show's upcoming return. Original stars Jennifer Saunders and Joanne Lumley reprise the roles that made them international superstar comediennes, and they still have that viper's bite when it comes to putting people down!

So, if you haven't used that handy app that De-Kardashians Your Life, break out a prescription for Valtrex and you can watch the Stoli Sisters rake the fake world of The Kardashians over a pit of red-hot coals!

Targets: Egyptian Army Forces Brutally Beat Female Protesters

A female protester is savagely beaten and kicked in the head by Army soldiers in Cairo, Egypt

Egyptian Army forces battling the continuing discontent throughout the nation have sunk to depraved new lows by targeting  female protesters and brutally beating them.

Shocking photographs have come out of the most recent unrest in Cairo, where a revolution began in earnest in January of this year and successfully managed to oust longtime Egyptian president Hosni Mubarak. The unrest has continued unabated, however, with large crowds of protesters gathering in Cairo's enormous Tahrir Square, in the center of the city. One woman is shown being relentlessly beaten by a group of ten Egyptian Army soldiers, knocking her to the ground before one man kicks her directly in the head with his heavy boot. The crazed soldiers also rip the woman's blouse off, exposing her bra, in an obvious attempt to publicly shame her in the strict, Muslim nation.


This is just one of the hundreds of shameful and disgusting injustices seen in Cairo's Tahrir Square after the military took a dramatically brutal hand on Saturday to crush all protests against its tyrannical rule.  Women have traditionally been the minority during the protests, as the chaos of revolution grips the entire nation. Now, more women are stepping out and bravely taking part in a struggle for freedom and truth that is currently playing out across practically every continent on the planet. Footage of gangs of army soldiers singling out women protesters in Egypt as well as Bahrain has erupted across the Internet, causing outrage throughout the world and condemnation from many governments.

Let It Snow: Google's Winter Wonderland Surprise a Christmas Hit

Google has given everyone an early Christmas present this year with one of their famous Google Doodles! If you type in the popular holiday phrase "Let It Snow" into the search engine giant, snowflakes begin to fall down the page. Of course, then a blizzard starts to fall and you quickly won't be able to see the screen to find the item that you were searching for, but you will be so bedazzled and Ooohing and Ahhhing over the holiday cheer, you'll forget all about it!

Don't worry, the geniuses over at Google added a "Defrost" button at the top of the screen to help you scrape away the ice and snow, and it's much easier than doing the same to your car's windshield on a bitingly cold and frosty morning!

Here's some Christmas music sung by the irreplaceable Andy Williams, just to get you into the Google Spirit!

Killer Storm Leaves at Least 540 Dead, Thousands More Missing in the Philippines

Photo Credit: Associated Press

One of the worst typhoons in decades slashed a devastating path across the Philippines over the weekend, leaving death and catastrophic destruction in its horrific wake.

Reports coming out of the Asian nation say that at least 540 deaths from the killer storm have been confirmed, with thousands more people still missing. Typhoon Washi, with winds gusting up to 90 miles per hour, hit the island of Mindanao late on Friday, bringing torrential rain that also grounded many domestic flights and left wide areas without electricity and other essential services.The heavy rains also triggered flash floods and deadly landslides, which swept away entire villages, leaving automobiles, homes and buildings that withstood the powerful onslaught in several feet of mud and standing water. 


The worst hit area of the country were the cities of Iligan and Cagayan de Oro, where homes were swept into the sea with their residents still trapped inside. Rescue crews and local residents made desperate and dramatic attempts to save individuals caught in the maelstrom, pulling  people out of collapsed buildings and rushing streams of water. A large majority of the missing and dead are feared to be young children, unable to fight the quick-moving waters to reach safety.


UK and US embassies were urging their citizens to avoid non-essential travel in the Philippines due to the disaster, as both governments pledge to send money and relief to help people living in the area.

Home Run Strike Out: Baseball's Derek Jeter Recycles Gifts (And Groupies)

"Trust me, my mind is NEVER on baseball when I'm on the field...it's on that hot blonde up in the stands..."

New York Yankees shortstop Derek Jeter has apparently banged so many women that he can't even remember them after he meets up with them again for another round of sleazy outfield hanky panky!

The serial womanizer, 37, recently broke up with gorgeous actress Minka Kelly, with the press and fans alike speculating that the athlete, who has been nicknamed Mr. Herpes by people in the know, was up to his old dirty dog womanizing behavior.

Seems the baseball great has a habit of taking his conquests back to his luxurious New York City apartment and after using them, he tosses them out like a used Kleenex by having a car waiting outside on the street to take them home, complete with a gift basket usually containing a signed baseball, his eloquent way of saying "Thanks for the shag, babe."

Problem is, Jeter has pulled this little trick on so many women that he can't even remember when he's already taken a woman back to his pad. Apparently, he met a woman, took her home and pulled his patented "Wham Bam Thank You Ma'am" on her, not realizing he had already pulled the same trick on her before! He even gave her the same gift basket! Looks as if Jeter is in a desperate attempt to break the epic sex record set by basketball great Wilt Chamberlain, who claimed he had slept with over 10,000 women in his lifetime.

Batter up!!!

Honey of an "O": Hackers Turn Breakfast Cereal Website Explicit

Hackers decided to have a bit of fun with General Mills' breakfast staple Honey & Nut Cheerios by writing some not-so-family friendly messages and posting some naughty graphics on the cereal's official website!

According to the cereal giant, the kiddie favorite's website was hacked by pranksters who wrote the word "Sex" on the Honey Defender web game– which allows children to make their own Cheerios-themed comics while visiting the site. The hackers also decided to add some graphics to the page featuring the cereal's longtime commercial mascot Buzz the Honey Bee involved in some rather indiscreet activities.

The offending words and images were promptly removed from the website, but not before some screen shots of the comical episode were snapped so that the hackers can live on in infamy...

Adele Vs. The Smog Monster: Songbird to Leave London Over Fears That Pollution Is Harming Her Voice

Superstar singer Adele is currently searching for properties to buy outside of London after specialists and doctors suggested leaving the city for fear the metropolis' high air pollution levels would damage her voice. The 23-year-old is said to be looking at properties in the area of West Sussex, located some 40 miles from London. The British capital is known locally by the nickname The Big Smoke.

The singer is still recovering from delicate throat surgery for a hemorrhaged vocal cord performed last month in Boston by Steven Tyler's doctor. She was forced to cancel the rest of her US tour, after having rescheduled many of the dates from a previous cancellation due to health and voice problems. She is reportedly desperate to be well enough to perform on the upcoming Grammy Awards ceremony, where she is nominated for a host of awards, as her 21 album becomes the top selling recording of 2011 in the United States. Her single "Rolling in the Deep" also claims the Number One song of the year honor in both the UK and US.


The singer plans to keep her £3 million London estate, and is said to be looking at properties in the £2-3 million price range in West Sussex and the surrounding area. Ironically, Adele mentioned London's air quality problem in her debut hit "Chasing Pavements" with the line, "I like it in the city when the air is so thick and opaque." 


If it's damaging your voice, it's not so great, sweetheart...

Am I Blue? Spanish Town Votes to Stay Blue After Smurf Movie Premiere

A lovely town in Spain that was painted a Smurfy shade of blue as a publicity stunt for the live action/cartoon film this year looks as if it will stay the lovely color as residents vote in a special referendum.

The Andalusian village of Juzcar near the resort town of Malaga was painted the precious hue six months ago to promote the European release of the big screen version of classic cartoon The Smurfs starring How I Met Your Mother actor Neil Patrick Harris. Sony Pictures, who made the film, promised to repaint the quaint Spanish village back to its original "pueblo blanco" white color after the European premiere. However, the town quickly became a tourist Mecca, with more than 100,000 tourists flocking to the Smurftasticly cute hamlet to take photographs in the past six months, boosting the local economy.

Now, a special referendum has been ordered where the town's citizens will vote to decide to keep the new color. They will vote on the measure tomorrow. The mayor of Juzcar, David Fernandez, whom locals have dubbed Papa Smurf, says, "We want the residents to decide the future of the town. There are lots of benefits being had from being blue. It has boosted our local economy, our happiness, our dreams, our work and our employment prospects, and we are also known across the whole of the world."


Just don't let that evil wizard Gargamel find out where your town is located...

La La La La La La La La La La La...

Whoopi Cushion: Goldberg Passes Gas Live on The View

"I won an Oscar for Ghost and am a co-host of popular talk show The View! I also am a cheap form of entertainment..."

Whoopi Goldberg created quite the stink while interviewing Claire Danes live on the ABC chat-fest The View when she let one rip for the world to hear!

Goldberg proved what puts the Whoopi in her name when she passed gas and immediately admitted to it by daintily confessing, "Excuse me, I think I just blew a little frog outta there!" Her fellow co-hosts, Sherri Shepard, Joy Behar and Elisabeth Hasselbeck looked on in a combination of bemusement...and disgust! Even elegant and beautiful Homeland star Claire had to laugh at Gasbag Goldberg's gaffe. 

The 56-year-old Oscar winning actress admitted during an appearance by Dr. Oz on the show earlier in the year that she consistently passes gas while on the daytime series, which thoroughly disgusted Madame Priss Barbara Walters! And her gassy moments live on-the-air have been well-documented over the past few years!


You can check out the clip of Whoopi's shining The View moment on YouTube below:

The One That Didn't Get Away: Katy Perry Ties Janet Jackson & George Michael Musical Record

It has indeed been a very good year for Pop Tart Katy Perry! Not only has she recently celebrated her 1st anniversary with hubby Russell Brand, she's also tied a Billboard record shared by two of the biggest superstars in the music industry, Janet Jackson and George Michael.

Perry's latest smash hit song  "The One That Got Away" has become the 6th Top 5 Billboard hit from her multimillion copy selling CD Teenage Dream, which ties the previous record. George Michael accomplished the feat in 1987-1989 with hits from his top selling Faith album, while JJ did so in 1989-1991, with a long succession of hits from her Grammy-winning Rhythm Nation 1814 album.

So, it's been over twenty years since an artist has achieved the rarefied status of Six Top 5 hits from one album, which is very impressive. With two more weeks left in the year, is it possible that Perry's "The One That Got Away" will hit Number One on the charts (it's currently sitting at Number Four), breaking another record? The song is currently available of .88 cents on iTunes, so it's a pretty good bet that it will reach Number One...