Let Them Eat Cake: Dessert for Breakfast May Help You Lose Weight

Remember when you were a kid and you would ask mom if you could have a big ol' slice of cake for breakfast? Remember how her answer was always an emphatic "No!!!"? Well, you might be able to tell your kids "Yes!" to that question, according to a new study from the University of Tel Aviv in Israel.

Researchers say having a little slice of dessert after eating a more-healthy, well-balanced breakfast could actually help weight-loss. The study claims that since a person's metabolism is more active and functional in the early morning hours, people can burn off more calories by eating calorie-ridden foods earlier in the day, giving them more time to use up the energy provided by the sugary snack.

The study also concluded that those who stuck to the new diet guidelines lost the same amount of weight as those in a control group, but those who didn’t have something sweet to eat along with their bowl of Wheaties gained some or most of the weight back after they lost it. The most likely cause is the hormone ghrelin, that regulates the body’s level of hunger. Since those who had a slice of scrumptious dessert in the morning satisfied their level of hunger, they were less likely to get the munchies throughout the rest of the day.

So, no more slices of cake after a hearty dinner, folks. Eat a piece with your oatmeal or grapefruit in the morning instead, and you should be fine!

So Emotional: A Personal Essay on the Life & Death of Whitney Houston

With the sad news of the death of singing superstar Whitney Houston,  I just felt the need to reflect on what she meant to me...

Her incredible talent, energy and breath-taking beauty were an inspiration to hundreds of millions of people around the world. Bursting onto the scene in the mid-1980s, her angelic voice and supermodel looks enthralled the planet, and she scored hit after hit after hit. No matter if she was singing a soul-stirring ballad or a dance floor anthem, she put everything into her performances. For a long period of years in the 80s and 90s, she was one of the most popular and top-selling recording artists.

When she was hit by the acting bug, Hollywood beckoned, banking on her gorgeous looks and incredible singing talent to carry her through a movie. In 1992, she hit the big time with the film The Bodyguard co-starring Oscar winner Kevin Costner. The movie was a smash hit, and Houston's recording of the Dolly Parton standard "I Will Always Love You" cemented her position as one of the world's most talented and beloved singers. The song topped the charts in practically every country in the world, winning her even more accolades and awards.

She certainly had the pedigree for singing greatness, being the cousin of singing legend Dionne Warwick and the god-daughter to the Queen of Soul Aretha Franklin. Her mother Cissy Houston was also a well-known and highly-respected singer.

The singer began experiencing career setbacks in the late-90s, and she became the fodder for the tabloids with her tempestuous relationship with former New Edition bad boy singer Bobby Brown. She stuck by Brown during his many run-ins with the law and jail sentences, even as she drew great criticism. Speculation of her drug use was rampant, as she exhibited odd behavior in public. Her looks began to suffer, and her voice, once spectacular and pristine, began to crack and break. Her concert performances, once a top international draw, began to dry up as well.

However it will be discovered how she died, I will prefer to keep my memories of a happy, beautiful and amazing Whitney Houston in my mind. Whenever I was feeling a little depressed or sad about something, all I had to do was listen to one of her songs such as "I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me)" or "How Will I Know?" and my sadness would completely disappear for those three minutes. Listening to those songs right now won't make me happy, I'm afraid. They will just remind me of what the world has lost at a far too young age. In time, however, I will remember just how happy those songs made me, and this will be her great legacy to the world. Goodbye, Whitney... I will always love you...

The Hull Chainsaw Incident: Video of Chainsaw Bar Fight Released

Shocking surveillance footage of a bizarre attack by a chainsaw wielding man at a bar in the United Kingdom has been released.

The footage, taped last year at the The Endyke Pub in Hull, England, shows 24-year-old Dean Dinnen, who admits to being drunk and on drugs at the time, casually entering the pub with a chainsaw after the establishment had told him he was not allowed to smoke inside of the restaurant. This apparently angered Dinnen so much that he retrieved a chainsaw and returned to search for the gentleman that had tossed him out of the club for smoking.

The disturbing video shows Dinnen brandishing the dangerous weapon at several patrons as he rips open the arm of Adrian Pryor, 32, before realizing that Pryor was not the man who threw him out of the pub. Patrons can be seen scrambling for safety during the attack, with others arming themselves with bar-stools and pool cues to fight off the crazed attacker. Eventually, Dinnen decides to leave the pub, but can be seen being chased down by an angry mob throwing chairs and kegs at the man, intent on bringing the lunatic to justice.

Dinnen pleaded guilty to several charges including causing grievous bodily harm, and was sentenced to three years in prison for the vicious attack.

What a Gas! Man Arrested for Making Flatulence Joke

The next time you compare your flatulence to a lethal bomb while out in public, you might want to think again...

Police in Mississippi arrested 19-year-old Harold Wayne Hadley, Jr. at the junior college he attends for allegedly writing a sweet little note on a roll of toilet tissue in the bathroom that contained the word "bomb". Hadley, however, insists that the note was not a terrorist threat to blow up the school..."bomb" is a pet word he uses to describe the deadly nature of his farts!

The discovery of the note prompted eleven different emergency agencies to arrive at the school in full combat gear, and the entire campus had to be evacuated. Hadley's family members told local press that he was only expressing great pride in his ability to produce toxic levels of gas from his own body: "He was in the restroom doodling on some toilet paper ... we are from the country, and he calls passing gas, bombs," said Hadley's aunt, who preferred to remain anonymous. "[He] put 'I passed a bomb in the library,' talking about passing gas, and somebody came in and found it, gave it to a teacher that recognized his hand writing and it blew all out of proportion."

Hadley was arrested and held on $20,000 bail. If convicted of threatening to blow up the school, he faces 10 years in prison and a $10,000 fine. 

Booby Prize: Unedited E-Mail Sent to Tornado Preparedness Members Leaves Many Red-Faced

"Mabel, get out here and show your knockers, the twister's comin' this way!"

A company e-mail that was sent out to hundreds of people has left the Oklahoma Insurance Department more than a little red-faced!

A state worker is now facing disciplinary action after sending out an unedited e-mail to hundreds of recipients offering a prize to the "girl with the biggest tits" at the National 2012 Tornado Preparedness Summit. Obviously, someone intended to play a little prank, but the e-mail was not vetted before being sent out by the clueless employee. Many recipients were quite surprised that the main qualification for the Insurance Commissioner's Award for the year would be the size of a woman's breasts, leaving all the qualified male candidates out of the loop and feeling like victims of discrimination. The category was meant to be for outstanding contributions to the insurance industry in tornado preparedness.

A second e-mail was issued to the same recipients twenty minutes later, retracting the booby prize statement and apologizing to anyone who may have taken offense.

Rhino Dies During Anti-Poaching Medical Procedure

What was supposed to be a positive event to prevent poaching of endangered white rhinos in South Africa turned into a tragedy when one of the giant animals died during a demonstration for the press.

The enormous white rhino named Spencer was put under sedation so veterinarians in South Africa could implant a micro-chip tracking device into the giant's horn as well as place dye in the horn to prevent the animal from being poached. Rhino horns are valued for their supposed "aphrodisiac" and medicinal properties throughout many parts of the world.

As invited press and cameras looked on, the vets and minders taking part in the procedure were unable to revive the rhinoceros, stunning the doctors and onlookers as well. "It’s a tragedy, it’s a disaster," says Charles van Niekerk, the doctor who developed the anti-poaching technique.

Placing such a large animal under anesthesia is always a risk, doctors assert, but Spencer is the first rhino to die while being sedated for the procedure. Doctors will continue to use the procedure to tag and track the animals, as the poaching situation has placed the creatures on the very brink of extinction. Conservationists believe over 440 white rhinos were killed last year alone.

Like a Prayer: Israeli Madonna Fans Beg PM "Don't Attack Iran Until After Concert"

"God? Are you there? It's me, Madonna..."

A new Facebook petition has gathered steam in Israel, with Madonna fans begging Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu not to attack a suspected Iranian nuclear facility until after The Queen of Pop's May 29th concert in Tel Aviv!

With tensions continuously escalating between Iran, the United States and Israel, Madonna fans could hardly be blamed for worrying that their pop idol would cancel her planned concert in Israel. Over the years, quite a number of world-famous acts, including The Red Hot Chilli Peppers, Depeche Mode and The Pixies, have cancelled concerts in the nation due to conflict, bombings and violence. Madge's hugely successful appearance during last week's Super Bowl broadcast only whetted the appetite of her fans all around the globe to see her in a thrilling live performance, nuclear war be damned!

Israelis feel a special connection to the former Material Girl, who converted to the Jewish-faith based Kabbalah religion from Catholicism in 2000.

Was Iceland's "Loch Ness Monster" Caught on Video?

Video of Iceland's supposed answer to Scotland's Nessie-the Loch Ness Monster- has gone viral, prompting speculation about just what sort of mythical creature is swimming around in those frigid, glacial lakes.

The creature, known to locals for centuries as Lagarfljotsormurinn, was allegedly photographed slithering and swimming its way through the frozen waters of 25-mile long Lake Lagarfljot. The thirty second video captured an eerie image of a large, unknown snake-like creature swimming around the icy flotsam of the enormous fresh water lake.

The legend of the Lagarfljotsormurinn creature goes back many centuries, with written reports of sightings of the beast going as far back in history as 1345. Witnesses over the years have described the "monster" as a pale, humped animal, around 50 feet long, sprouting whiskers on the head at the end of a 6-foot-long, craning neck,

Given the volcanic nature of Iceland, can anyone be sure exactly what lies beneath the deep ocean and lake beds of the frozen terrain, especially at a time when the island nation has been experiencing a disturbing uptick in activity in the Katla, Hekla and Eyjafjallajokull volcanoes over the past two years?

Really? French Health Minister's Advice to Homeless: Stay Indoors

A junior Health Minister in France has received ridicule for advising that homeless people "avoid going outdoors" as the continuing deadly European cold snap grips most of the continent.

Junior minister Nora Berra advised on her blog that people susceptible to the bitingly cold Arctic conditions should avoid outdoor activity, including the elderly, the very young, the sick and, of course, the homeless...

Her blog quickly ignited a flurry of comments on twitter, Facebook and other social media web sites, with people enraged that she suggest the homeless remain "in their homes".

Berra quickly erased the message regarding the homeless from her blog following the uproar, tweeting "There are some subjects that lend themselves badly to irony" to her twitter feed yesterday.

The European Deep Freeze, the worst cold snap to hit the continent in decades, has claimed well over three hundred lives in the past several weeks, with the homeless population suffering the most deaths.

Facebook Murders: Social Network "De-Friending" Leads to Murder, Say Police

Police say that a young couple slaughtered in their home were victims of a father who had become enraged after the husband and wife had "de-friended" his daughter on the social network site Facebook.

Authorities in Mountain City, Tennessee, have arrested 60-year-old Marvin Potter for the First Degree murders of Billy Payne Jr, 36, and his 23-year-old girlfriend Billie Jean Hayworth. The couple's eight-month-old baby daughter was found unharmed, still in her dead mother's arms after the fatal shooting. Both had been shot point-blank in the head, while the male victim also had his throat slashed. 


Investigators claim that the couple had complained that Potter's daughter had been harassing them via the social network site as well as by cellular telephone, after the pair had both deleted her as a friend on Facebook. Authorities believe this simple act brought about the murder plot, as Potter and another man, identified as Jamie Curd, 38, plotted to murder the couple in a revenge-style "honor" killing for their alleged "disrespecting" of Potter's daughter. 


Potter and Curd were both arraigned yesterday, with Potter's initial bond set at $1.5 million. Both suspects remain in jail. 

Imagine: Massive Explosion in Russian Sky Has People Talking

A video of a vivid, electrical explosion filmed by a man driving in his car has gone viral...and caused conspiracy theorists to salivate.

The video, filmed in St. Petersburg, Russia, starts out innocently enough, as a man is listening to the John Lennon classic song "Imagine" while driving down a busy thoroughfare. Suddenly, an immense series of explosions light up the night sky, eerily illuminating the entire skyline, causing the driver to ooh and ahh and other drivers to hit their brakes. At first, the enormous flashes resemble nuclear explosions detonating in the atmosphere!

People have speculated on the Internet that the brilliant flashes of light are "Martians landing" to colonize St. Petersburg, with other Russians saying it is a new weapon designed by Vladimir Putin, the nation's current premiere, who is witnessing great opposition and protests over his rule and alleged political corruption. Russians are set to go to the polls to elect  a new president in March. Many claim it to be an experiment using research from the great Russian scientist, Nikola Tesla, to develop new weapon technology.

The official Russian media has claimed the bright lights witnessed by thousands resulted from an explosion at a nearby electrical substation, but we like the Martians making First Contact theory better...

The Sex Thief: Iowa Man Wanted for Armed Robbery of Sex Doll

Iowa police are asking for the public's help to catch an armed robber who stole a $250 sex doll from an adult novelty store by knife-point.

Iowa City authorities released surveillance footage of a man wearing a ski-mask robbing the Romantix Pleasure Palace sex shop at around three o'clock in the morning on January 12. The police had to pixelate the footage from the store to blot out the explicit cover of the box containing the life-size sex doll stolen, the "F@%!-Me Silly" masturbatory device. The man approached an employee at the store in the early-morning hours and brandished a large hunting knife in a threatening manner before leaving the shop with the stolen booty.

Police describe the suspect as “white male, approximately 5'8" - 5'10", 165 lbs.” If anyone has any information about this "sex crime", you may contact the Iowa City Crime-stoppers, which offers a $1000 reward for any information resulting in the capture of the horny thief.

Photo courtesy of the Smoking Gun

Sprockets: Skinny, Old, Ugly, Grey-Haired Designer Karl Lagerfeld Calls Adele "Fat"

"I'm perfectly perfect in my perfection, Ja?"

Old, scrawny, ugly and grey-haired fashion designer Karl Lagerfeld, famous for running off at the mouth, has let it rip once again, calling singing superstar Adele "fat" and Russian men "ugly".

The 2000 78-year-old designer has always been known for his petulant and often controversial outbursts and was his usual demon-possessed self in an interview for European paper The Metro. In the interview, he gives Rolling in the Deep songbird Adele a back-handed compliment by saying, ""The thing at the moment is Adele. She is a little too fat, but she has a beautiful face and a divine voice."

He also insists that US president Barack Obama only occupies the White House because of his wife, Michelle. "My favorite thing about Mrs Obama was when she was asked if her skirt was not too tight and she answered, 'Why, you don't like my big black ass?'"

He insulted millions of Russian men by proclaiming "If I was a woman in Russia I would be a lesbian, as the men are very ugly." He also went on to say that both Greeks and Italians have "really disgusting habits" when quizzed about his thoughts concerning the current European economic crisis.

In a touch of irony possibly lost on the fashionista,  the  pony-tail wearing and fan-carrying Lagerfeld was once a bit of a porker himself, and lost a considerable amount of weight after going on an extreme "diet" (aka gastric bypass surgery) in 2001.

Why You Little...Iran Bans Homer Simpson Doll

Iran continues its unabated saber rattling by eschewing all things Western, and the latest victim of their Anti-Everything/We Hate the World campaign is cartoon character Homer Simpson. 

Control-freak Iranian officials, determined to keep their country's fast-approaching date with the Apocalypse, decried on Monday that the paunchy, bald-headed Homer was no longer welcome in their nation, in another ludicrous attempt to totally eliminate all vestiges of Western culture from their tiny corner of the globe. Ironically, Homer does work at a nuclear power plant, with Iran frantically drying to develop as many nuclear weapons as possible in a last-ditch effort to bring about Armageddon by "wiping out Israel and destroying the Great Satan" (AKA the USA)  and secure their position as one of the members of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. (Be careful what you wish for...)

Homer shouldn't feel bad, as Iranian officials also banned the sale of Barbie dolls in the country. All toys in the strict and tightly-controlled Muslim nation must adhere to the following rules:

• No distinguishable genitals
• No adult toys
• No toys that speak or sing in the voices of Western singers
• No kitchen sets with glasses for drinking alcohol.

While Iranian officials occupied themselves with toy banning, President Obama issued complete sanctions against the Iranian Central Bank on Monday resulting from the country's determined quest to build nuclear weapons to use against Israel and other enemies (by enemies, we mean the entire population of Earth...)

O Solo Frio: Venice's Famed Canals Turn to Ice in European Deep Freeze

The famed canals of Venice, Italy, have fallen victim to the current European Deep Freeze and have frozen over, making it difficult for traffic to pass through the waterways of the beautiful, historic city.

Many of the city's vaporettos, water buses, were left stranded in the frozen waters, leaving tourists and residents alike without transportation. Venice, famed for its picturesque canals and waterways, relies on water traffic to transport people, as there are no roads and cars serve no purpose. Water pipes broke in the frigid temperatures as well, and over sixty-thousand people were left without power in Milan, where officials have declared a gas shortage emergency as demand for energy has increased by more than eight hundred percent in the past week.

It's been years since the Venetian canals have turned to ice, as the entirety of Europe struggles through the worst and coldest winter in decades. The canals of the more northerly city of Amsterdam in the Netherlands also froze over solid, with thousands of residents walking, skating or biking on the icy new thoroughfares.

Dolce & Gabbana Purse Resembles "Roseanne's" Couch

"If you plan on having that baby here, Jackie, you're definitely not using the quilt!"

If you have a notion to pay homage to the classic sitcom Roseanne and you have an extra $3000 to blow, you can buy a new designer purse...that looks just like the well-used quilt on the Connor family couch...

Italian high fashion designers Dolce & Gabbana seem to have taken a bit of inspiration from the residents of Third & Delaware Streets in the Middle American town of Lanford, Illinois, with their new designer purse, the Miss Sicily Crochet Bag. (They could also be paying homage to that most Sicilian, purse-carrying grandma, Sophia Petrillo of The Golden Girls fame!)

The purse is definitely Retro-kitsch certified, and heavily resembles the crocheted quilt that Dan spilled countless beers on, Roseanne smeared chocolate sauce on and little DJ ralphed all over. Retail outlet Neiman-Marcus describes the bag on their website as " a homespun comfort as it adorns both dressy and casual ensembles."

Seeing that Roseanne is planning a run for the US presidency, just maybe the purse will catch on...