Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Nanu Nanu! English Politician Claims He Fathered Alien Hybrid Child!

We have heard of some interesting sex scandals involving British politicians over the years, but this story is definitely out of this world! 

Simon Parkes, an elected council member for the town of Whitby on the Yorkshire Coast, England, claims that he is the father of an alien/human hybrid daughter named Zarka! Apparently, Parkes knocked some intergalactic boots with Zarka's extraterrestrial mother, whom he refers to as The Cat Queen (Crazy Cat Lady, more likely)Parkes also claims that his real mother is a "nine foot tall green alien with eight fingers" (is that total fingers or fingers on one hand?), according to an interview he gave for an upcoming documentary Confessions of an Alien Abductee for England's Channel Four Network (in an obvious effort to get one over on the BBC when it comes to quality, highbrow entertainment)

The 53-year-old says that he has been receiving random booty calls from his alien friend with benefits about four times a year for a number of years now. Apparently, Parke's human wife (how did he ever land one of those?) isn't too happy about the extra-terrestrial/extra-marital hanky panky, but she has accepted it because the sex is "not on a human level" (We bet!)...

He describes the sexual encounters in a fairly clinical manner: "What will happen is that we will hold hands and I will say 'I’m ready' and then the technology I don’t understand will take us up to a craft orbiting the earth," he told  local online news site The Northern Echo. No word on whether Zarka is expecting any hybrid siblings anytime soon.

You can listen to Parkes give details of his alien love life in the following video (be warned, it's pretty snoozerific, so no sexy, alien porn here!):

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