An Ohio man has been nabbed for trying to get busy with his favorite teddy bear while out in public, and it's not the first time he's been caught in flagantre dilecto with Paddington.
28-year-old Charles Marshall of Cincinnati, Ohio, was issued a citation on Wednesday for masturbating with the cuddly toy in an alleyway outside of the Elm Street Health Clinic. (Talk about your Nightmare on Elm Street!)
Police records, however, reveal that this is actually the FOURTH time Marshall has been caught and cited for pleasuring himself with the plush bear in the past several years. He received a citation for indecency and disorderly conduct following the last incident of engaging in public sex with a true novelty toy.
Marshall has also served short stints in jail and been subjected to several fines for the incidences according to website The Smoking Gun,. For whatever reason, he can't seem to break his attachment to the teddy bear, much like Mark Wahlberg in the upcoming comedy flick Ted, in which the superstar actor plays a character whose talking childhood stuffed teddy bear remains an unwanted constant in his life.