Tuesday, February 7, 2012

Why You Little...Iran Bans Homer Simpson Doll

Iran continues its unabated saber rattling by eschewing all things Western, and the latest victim of their Anti-Everything/We Hate the World campaign is cartoon character Homer Simpson. 

Control-freak Iranian officials, determined to keep their country's fast-approaching date with the Apocalypse, decried on Monday that the paunchy, bald-headed Homer was no longer welcome in their nation, in another ludicrous attempt to totally eliminate all vestiges of Western culture from their tiny corner of the globe. Ironically, Homer does work at a nuclear power plant, with Iran frantically drying to develop as many nuclear weapons as possible in a last-ditch effort to bring about Armageddon by "wiping out Israel and destroying the Great Satan" (AKA the USA)  and secure their position as one of the members of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. (Be careful what you wish for...)

Homer shouldn't feel bad, as Iranian officials also banned the sale of Barbie dolls in the country. All toys in the strict and tightly-controlled Muslim nation must adhere to the following rules:

  • No distinguishable genitals
  • No adult toys
  • No toys that speak or sing in the voices of Western singers
  • No kitchen sets with glasses for drinking alcohol.

While Iranian officials occupied themselves with toy banning, President Obama issued complete sanctions against the Iranian Central Bank on Monday resulting from the country's determined quest to build nuclear weapons to use against Israel and other enemies (by enemies, we mean the entire population of Earth...)

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